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Crionics - Neuthrone Review

by Matt Hensch

Honestly, this is quite the load of cow feces. Basically, Crionics is stuck with this blunder of death metal mimicry at its very worst, and it is quite a painful experience in every area possible. So here’s the deal: Crionics is a death metal act with the occasional blackened hint for whatever reason, and they have this Neuthrone record that hovers over plagiarism because of its obvious unoriginality. You could just strap on a random Behemoth or Nile CD and get the same effect; if you’ve heard any death metal ever, you’ve already sat through it with Neuthrone.

Now there are times when a band can sneak away with a tiny bit of generic influence, but Neuthrone demonstrates the exact opposite with nothing but familiar musical platforms. Every riff, drum pattern, and vocal formation is seriously just a rehashed formula you’d hear anywhere, but only a lot more predictable, and a lot less interesting. And that’s really all there is to say about the music, because that’s all it is. Did these guys stop and think about what they were writing, and how uninspired it appeared? It’s like there’s not even a soul to Crionics! Forget about energy, passion, or originality, because it’s nowhere to be found.

It doesn’t take a smarty-pants to realize the cheap music and fourth-rate death metal persona that pisses on Neuthrone, but the vocals unquestionably hammer the last nails in the pre-ordered burial casket. Crionics has about the same heaviness as your typical brutal clone band, and with this observation comes the expectation of growling vocals or high-pitched bellows; however, this is not the case here. So instead of the usual styles, Crionics opts toward this odd anger-filled medium between growls and normal chatter. It’s somewhat hard to explain, but just know it sounds terrible when added into the rest of the music. To understand what you’re getting into, ask a smoker if he can sound like Sean Connery; that’s about what you can expect.

Crionics have quite possibly reached the absolute limit of redundancy a CD can absorb with Neuthrone. There is not a single moment of originality, individualism, or enjoyment in any way at all throughout this clueless toss-up; it’s just complete garbage from start to finish. Avoid this disgraceful waste of plastic and buy something actually worth your money.

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Crionics - Neuthrone


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