Sepultura - A-lex Review
by Matt Hensch
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Sepultura died a long time ago. I believe many, many folks in our fantastic metal community can agree they have been down and out since Roots, and have not put out anything worthwhile since 1991. Although they improved a little during Dante XXI, they still do not get the cigar. However, has not that vile consistency morphed into the gift that keeps on giving? After all, Sepultura waddles on with their loyal tribe of semi-stupid fans proudly creaming over whatever sh*tty record this awful group shoots out. So what is left? Try a few Brazilian assh*les rolling in wads of cash once another abomination is created. What a shame. Sepultura inspired countless bands throughout those glory years, and now, we always prepare for the worst, as we shall most likely receive it.
Is there any hope for this Brazilian (plus one American) faction? Why yes! It is the same band that popped out Beneath the Remains and Morbid Visions, and YOU dare doubt their abilities? Dante XXI showed new characteristics emerging within our good friends
still groove-laden dung, but improvement is still improvement, and now they will carry it over throughout A-lex with utmost power.
But hold the f*cking phone, there is more: it is a concept album about Clockwork Orange! So now we celebrate the illusion that writing a concept album instantly grants a flavorful effort like so many tools suppose! Oh praise the gods!
Do not be shocked to know the truth: A-lex is a steaming dump. Wow, what a surprise: it is STILL groove metal without any sense of intelligence! Now someone trying to defend Sepultura in this situation (and they will try, trust me) will respond by saying the following: "No way, faggot! The riffs are heavy as sh*t, drums are cool, and I JUmPDAF*CKUP!!!1!"
To tame this profoundly retarded argument, simply begin musical dissection. First off, one will need to point out that every song throughout A-lex has only one simple riff consisting of a few notes per cycle, lasting for minutes on end. Likewise, some little kid they selected for percussion duties proves his worthlessness as any beginner on the kit could easily perform everything performed by junior here. Overall though, Sepultura's poor gamble bankrupts their identity even more than before, because A-lex starts awful, stays awful, and ends awful. And yes, the guitar distortion is heavy. Big f*cking deal.From this point on, Derrick Green will now be known as Peniscake. Since entering the picture after Roots, Peniscake has transformed Sepultura into a groove/hardcore faction responsible for such abominations as Nation or Against, with A-lex continuing his otherworldly storm of diarrhea, now mightier than before. Peniscake's shouts reek of a poor hardcore vocalist stuck in a tough-guy tone, almost like he will slug someone for no reason. It works pretty well for about two seconds, that is, before Peniscake becomes laughably bad. One will laugh, find him annoying, and wish Sepultura had gone six feet under after the golden days were over. Thanks for kicking a dead horse, Peniscake.
To my amazement, A-lex occasionally provides good, honest passages that actually represent a real band playing music instead of a sell-out bucket of crud practically touching the scrotums of those modernized idiots following Sepultura. For instance, "Moloko Mesto" has a real thrash riff kicking off the record quite noticeably. Sure it is dull and generic, but for modern Sepultura, that is a step into the unknown. And I guess "Ludwig Van" deserves a shout for its loopy expenditures and symphonic edge, even despite (you guessed it) the obsolete instrumentation rendering the entire concept of an orchestral cover useless. Ah Sepultura, you never fail to fail so hard.
If one were expecting some incredible rejuvenation of Sepultura's glorious past, forget about it. This album is a powerful contender for the worst item this faded group has ever conceived, even on par with Roots and Nation in terms of piss-poor ideas. A-lex, on one hand, provides a slight stint of musical improvement throughout thin sections, but what does not look good really blows, even for Peniscake-era standards, which frankly demonstrates how awful this whole recording is during all eighteen tunes that preach worthlessness instead of concrete substance. Basically, it is modern Sepultura doing what modern Sepultura does best: sucking like a hooker with an anteater trunk.
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Sepultura - A-lex Rating:1.5
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