Long ago when heavy metal was thriving just by causing neck injuries and ruining the junk of blasphemers, there passed a fatal illness that attacked poetic mindsets by forcing the infected musicians to write rehashed crap that seemed uninteresting or simply deficient; this plague was appropriately labeled Unmemorableiosis. After annihilating many groups, this horrid disease was finally minimized; that is, until Pantheon I contracted it during the writing processes of their monotonous full-length called The Wanderer and His Shadow in 2007. Now hospitalized, Pantheon I hasn't been doing so hot, yet what's found in this work here shows hard evidence proving no intelligence or memorable aspects of a real band were used when making this trash, just like the disease is known for.
After further studies, it has been confirmed from multiple sources that Unmemorableiosis' slow takeover eventually causes dull instrumentation, as demonstrated on this record. For one, the riffing effort sluggishly portrays a terrible balance of half-assed tremolo picking and other useless commodities, which is all tied together by some stupid clean guitar for whatever reason. Dan Theobald's drumming just floats around in easy patterns you could discover on every extreme metal observation ever made, yet here's the kicker: when confused, he just uses blastbeats without organization. You'll stumble upon instrumental sections that actually appear nice, but then comes mindless snare bashing like an ADD kid given a drum set; it's completely incoherent and unneeded. One will easily find Pantheon I's typical structure to be very generic and quite irksome in comparison to alternative black metal releases, mainly because these clowns lack an essential tool others have: brain cells.
Such biological decay can also be traced back to excessively using crappy song writing, which stands out as another key sign for a proper Unmemorableiosis diagnosis. Basically, Pantheon I strives tediously with boredom by finding a set of mundane drafts that are burdensome in all areas, and then proceeds to suck every signal of decency dry until sleep falls upon the listener. Biopsies on certain tracks have shown this entire musical performance focuses on milking specific patterns for minutes at a time, or at least before shutting your CD player off due to frustration from constant redundancy. Foreseeable and downright bland, you'll be wishing your money was never spent on such vapid meadow muffins.
As The Wanderer and His Shadow strolls around like a lost child, please try to identity with that abandonment the best you can, because I guarantee you'll be praying you were lost within a sea of random people rather than wallowing in this group's lackluster presence. Some symptoms these Norwegian gimps had included predictable riffs, lame vocals, dull overall songs, senseless-blasting percussion, and a general stint of unmemorable aspects; the signs were clear, but Unmemorableiosis worked too fast to do anything. Oh, boy! It looks like Pantheon I just slipped into a coma due to Unmemorableiosis' progression, yet I feel we should let nature take its course with this particular subject. After all, it is just Pantheon I.