I
Am Gambit
with
Mike Rapin
When the rantings and ravings of Mike Rapin
fill up among his small group of listeners, he turns to the digital pen
and paper. Expect nothing less than irrational cries about meaningless
anythings and possibly a logical idea here or there, but nonetheless hilarious
(for those with a real sense of humor).
If you are under 18 or are easily offended,
stop reading now!
Caught In The Web
First off, 300 was the best movie ever.
Period. Done deal. End of the world.
Second off, you. Go take a nap or smoke
a cigarette...*
Third off, Anna Nicole Smith is dead. Ha!
Fourth off, I come to you today with a
simple question--one which I will attempt to answer: Why is the internet
so damn addicting?
I ask this question today solely because
I am severely mesmerized by the wonders of the world wide web. She holds
me like a starving giant squid or a malevolent Godzilla foe. I cannot help
but ignore near everything and everyone when I sit upon a computer and
gaze into her murky depths. And oh how deep she goes! As if reading a news
blog wasn't bad enough, Google searches and forums lead me to find thousands
and thousands of other "things" that keep me occupied until the late hours
of the night--lately I've been heading to bed at around 4:30AM with class
a mere 5 and a half hours later.
The severe grasp of the internet has caused
me to fill my head with random little blurbs dealing with the entire Marvel
universe, or what the iPhone will do next, and even sh*t from that damn
twitter site... Why, oh, why does the internet hold me so firmly? Why am
I constantly getting on Wikipedia and creating 40+ tabs in my web browser
from links on the previous 20 tabs? My answer to this is null. I am lost
in the swirling world of the internet... and I can't seem to find a reason
as to why anyone would want to use the Jabber instant messaging system...
It was once said that 'The world is a sad
and fascinating place..." and I truly believe this. The internet exploits
all that is sad and fascinating. But let us not forget the porn industry!
Thriving on the idea of a "personal computer" I know that this addiction
alone grinds its dirty fingers into the minds of men world-wide. How amazing
it is to just sit on a website and stream free 3 minute clips of some girl
getting the sh*t pounded back in as she screams for mercy. I'm sure thousands
of guys would love some variety of that. Hell, it beats having that awkward
moment at the porn shop with the guy/girl/he-she/she-he behind the counter.
And like spousal abuse, it doesn't stop;
everyday myself, along with millions worldwide jump onto this "information
superhighway" and make our way from site to site taking in (usually) useless
knowledge. But the amazing part is, people have built international corporations
strictly based on the internet. Amazon, eBay, and many others are strictly
internet-only and they have die-hard users that have memorized the interface
and its customizations; they have written guides and howtos so other non-savvy
users don't get effed in the a. It's a mind boggling world if you look
at it. People dedicate hours and hours to these web sites. I may sound
socialist, but way to go for the community.
Look at something like in-depth forums.
Any Linux distribution has a community and the forums for that community
(well I know this to be true for Ubuntu) can usually help with 95% of problems
and get them solved within 2 days. How awesome is that? Dedication and
knowledge... mind you, I see the knowledge of helping others as severely
USEful, but those who sit on the forums and customize it and know how the
inter workings work, but aren't even active member are the ones that are
useless.
Let's not forget World of Warcraft... well,
we can for now...
I would like to conclude here with a short
rant:
Although I am a victim of this internet
useless-knowledge phenomenon, I have to say that it isn't all bad. In fact,
at times it is quite fun to know the story lines of all six Harry Potter
books and the little trivial facts that go along with each of them; it
can be quite a talk with others who have knowledge of the Marvel universe
and be able to tell them how story lines happened and what the aftermath
was. I won't come out and say that just because it's useless information
that is doesn't have meaning, but in reality, at times I wish I didn't
know how all the applications (100+) on my computer worked or how Jean
Grey dying totally threw the X-Men in a new, better direction. The reason
I say this is that at times, I know that my final-exams and mid-term exams
would have been better than a 3.1 if I hadn't sat and re-watched all the
episodes of Arrested Development, Robot Chicken, The Office, My Name Is
Earl, and Metalocalypse for the sheer purpose of having some laughs and
getting the plot lines and jokes better understood in my head and instead
studied for a little more on my school work.
Again, that useless information is fun,
but there are some more important things out there than World Of Warcraft
and Marvel comics...
*Please tell me someone got that joke
--
http://www.mikerapin.com/
Cover our ass part: The views
expressed here are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect
the views of Thrashpit, Rocknworld, the Iconoclast Entertainment Group,
the Pope, George W. Kennedy, soccer moms, pop-punk fans, etc. Note: this
rant was slightly censored by the man... only one specific word was altered.
You should still know what it is, even with the alteration. If you don't
you, you are as bright as a f*cking blackout and should consider sterilization
. Love, Big Brother
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