(The s***Headz) - Dirty Pounding Gasoline
By Jeff Collins
Upon hearing such a clever name, I couldn’t
wait to hear the band. “What will they sound like?” I wondered.
Stripped down hardcore? Or maybe s***ty punk rock, laden with horribly
offensive lyrics. Maybe something completely immature, yet satisfying
enough to blast through the neighborhood during a drunken blitz?
Nope. As I should have gathered from
the title of the album, “Dirty Pounding Gasoline,” it is nothing but straight-forward
rock music, slightly polished and radio ready. (Think STP meets Godsmack.)
While I have no problem with stereotypical
hard rock, the Xheadz contribute nothing to the genre, save for a name
we can all laugh at. Notice I say laugh at, not with.
Offering up songs such as “Nitro” and “MotorJesus,”
the album kicks about as much ass as Metallica’s “Reload.” The only
difference between the Xheadz and Metallica is that if someone gave me
a free Metallica ticket, I might consider going.
While the Xheadz are not the worst band
in the world, the album contains enough uninspired lyrics, uninventive
guitar riffs, and predictable arrangements to further dilute the rock ‘n
roll gene pool in which we all slowly drown.
My prediction for the Xheadz: After
a short stint of opening for small to mid-size acts, they will still be
unable to accept their own mediocrity and slug it out in the bar scene
for another couple of years. Finally, upon realizing that they suck,
they will give up and become patrons of the bars whose stages they once
played, sitting next to the alcoholics instead of annoying them.
The Xheadz will soon be reduced to drinking
their weeknights away as they tell the same stories about fame that never
happened, whining to anyone who will listen about how talented they are,
and wondering why nobody else seems to realize it. It is only a matter
of time before both the band and the record label recoil in horror at every
dime that was put into this sinking ship.
Best case scenario: They could end
up reuniting in ten years to play cover songs by the many other bands that
their sound so closely resembles.
Advice to the band: Either crank
out some tunes that are a little more s***-headed, or give the name over
to a band that will.
- Dirty Pounding Gasoline
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