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Saint Everett - "Totality" Review

by Matthew Hastie

.
Ok, so I got this CD and threw it onto my computer and took it for a spin. Saint Everett's "Totality" really caught me off guard, unfortunately not in a good way. After some research I found out Saint Everett isn't a full on band. They are just a studio pair comprised of John Everett and Patrick Leigh. The CD itself is able to be licensed by other bands to take the songs and perform them in their own way. This is a cool idea, however the songs aren't good at all. Each track became more and more painful to listen to, and the only reason I wanted to keep listening was in hope that I'd find a diamond in the dirt. Sadly, my search yielded nothing.

This CD jumps around way too much with the songs, and there is no sense of completion. Think of a little kid getting a huge box of crayons and going color happy on your living room walls. All you can do is sit there and wonder, what is this? The songs themselves are almost a joke. The lead off track "Times Like These" is a dedication to the victims of Katrina, and this song made me even sorrier that something like this was written about good, honest people. "Breaking Ties", the first ballad on the CD is probably one of the worst songs I've ever heard. The piano and synthesizer are straight out of 80's butt rock and the lyrics and vocals in general are atrocious.

Some tracks might have potential to have something better done with them, but I really can't see how. "Solemnly Swear" could probably only be pulled off by Billy Idol. I'm sorry Billy, but John Everett totally ripped your vocals off in this song and you need to go reclaim them. This CD just frustrates me to listen to, and I always try and keep an open mind about music, I'm sure I could find something I liked about Britney Spears if I tried. But there is no hope for Saint Everett, not even Led Zeppelin reuniting and playing these songs could save this album. As for their tag-line, "Come witness the rebirth of Born Again Rock", somebody please shove Saint Everett back in the womb for another few years, or at least until their realize butt rock is dead. I give you a 2 for effort.


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Saint Everett - "Totality"

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