Rock
Reads: Books that Rock!
Tom Reynolds'-
I Hate Myself and I Want to Die Review
by JoFo
.
Don'tcha just love discovering a book
that is too funny to be read in public, that makes eating or drinking while
reading it a sure way to choke & die? What makes the subject matter
of this book even better is its importance & truth. This book does
so much more than take a thoughtful reader on a tour of the most depressing
songs on the planet, an extremely important undertaking in itself. More
than just a mere list, this book is a history lesson, going all the way
back to barber shop quartets & the halcyon days when it was obvious
that the sound engineers were dropping acid by the handful. Reynolds is
fulla info on many topics relating to music, and he is quite knowledgeable
about actual music, unlike me, who can only kinda fake it. As a result
of his instruction, I know stuff that will enable me to keep up this masquerade
even longer!
Now I know what the most depressing scale
in music is & what song Kirk Hammet used it in order to up the depression
quotient of their song that made the list. Now I know that "sing it with
a shitty voice" is only #2 on the list of things an artiste must do in
order to gain the attention of music critics. Now I know which song got
its lyrics "straight out of the Institute of Warped Metaphors"
I especially appreciate the way he categorized
many different singers, in order to help me tell them apart. All singers
don't sound like "teamsters with a mouth full of Novocain" as Eddie Vedder
does. Some deliver a sound so pained & nasally they sound like they
"drop kicked a Steinway", a critical distinction in any market! There are
a host of ways to categorize the different singers that sing depressing
songs, so these helpful tips along the way helped me all kindsa ways. Important
questions are asked and answered on the subject of singers & their
sounds, such as which Celine Dion song sounds not only like a deranged
killer crashing through a window, but also like Huey helicopter being used
on a fox hunt?
This book also provided many answers that
will enable me to win every bar bet that ever comes up on the subject.
What is the difference, for instance, between a song that's merely sad
& a really depressing one? What is the difference between a song that
is stark & one that is harrowing, and which is more annoying? What
kind of metal do John Tesh fans like? After a few nights of studying this
material, I now think I am ready for a final exam.
His treatments of Evanescence's entry on
the list & Metallica are so funny that I wish I could quote the entire
chapters here. I guess you're going to have to buy the book to read of
his development of the "Quantum Tragedy Paradigm" and his revelation of
what is actually more depressing than an armless, legless, war veteran
with no face that's blind, deaf, and mute.
Use extreme caution when eating or drinking
while reading this book.
...You have been warned.
Book Info and Links
Tom Reynolds - I Hate Myself and I Want
to Die
Publisher: Hyperion Books
Rating:
(yes it is that good)
Purchase
This Book Online
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.
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